I experimented with a new way to urinate. Then I got drunk and told the whole bar.

It was 17. May yesterday. Norway’s national day.

For most people, that day is all about parades, happy children, the marching bands, flags, icecream, hot dogs, national people costumes, all the fake smiles, champagne breakfasts and all that national pride crap.

For me that day is a pure hell and I hate everything about it. I hate the "hipp hipp hurra" and all that nonsense. I stayed home. And then my brain did the thing it always does. It always comes up with some wild lustfull idea.

I suddenly wondered what it would be to pee like a woman. How it would feel to have the urine exit from a soft, gentle place, instead of the usual long meat stick that I'm equipted with.

So then I took my Flehslight, Creampuff, and slid my dick in it from the back. Or "Reverse-mounted" it on my dick..

And I pissed. Through her soft, silicone vagina. It was abesluptly amazing. I was so happy.

Not in a sexual way (at the first times), but like a strange spiritual realignment. It came out like a stream of femininity. I stood there, mesmerized. I felt graceful. Happy and elightfull. Like a silicone priestess of golden water.

Then I did it again. And again and again.. many times. My largest problem was that I didn’t have enough pee. So I started chugging beers just to piss more. I basically got drunk because I was trying to piss like a woman aver and over again.

And that’s when the night spiraled out of control.

Somewhere in my golden haze, then I got this dumb idea that it would be a good idea to me to go out to town. Half of Norway is drinking tonigh.

I havent been out in ages! And specialy not on May 17th. But now, beer in my head and holy piss in my heart, I felt that the day had come. I showered, dressed, hit the town, and kept drinking like I was out with friends.

At some point, I ended up at a urinal in a packed bar, completely shitfaced. And then it happened. I turned to the guy next to me and said:

"I pissed out of a vagina today! Ha-ha"

He blinked. "What, do you mean, into one?”

"No, out of one"! I said proudly.

I explained the whole setup. My very own reverse Fleshlight. The pissing, the sensation. The spiritual rebirth when I felt like a woman urinating.

And this dude just complely LOST IT! (Laughing)

We stumbled back out, and suddenly I had a group of new drunk friends. For the first time in like forever, I was in a bar, surrounded by people, laughing and felt like I belonged, having a real good time. I proudly told all of them the stories of pussy-pissing, arms waving like a fucking piss prophet. People were laughing very hard. I thought they were laughing with me. Hanging on to every word. Cheering with me.

More people joined us. I thought we were starting a movement. I dubbed us the piss apostles. Amazing. Best night ever.

A guy I met then told me they probably weren’t laughing at the idea. They were laughing at me. Because I pissed through a Fleshlight and called it spiritual. I got sad and went home. I did have fun, but that comment stuck with me. For the first time in about six month I had laughed together with real friends.

But anyway now it’s the day after. And I am in true hell.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I keep inventing new ways to ruin my very own life?

Tonight I’m sitting here again, hungover, ashamed, and staring at a Fleshlight that has been violated. For the first time in a long time I feel the shame. I have been told it's good for me to feel shame. But I don't like. I am thinking about deleting Reddit. Quitting porn. Moving to a remote village with no internet.

My mom has always says I remind her of my dead father. The lonely weirdness parts (she means it in a good way). I need to stop. But I probably won’t. And that’s my real curse, sometimes I am to proud of myself.

TL;Dr; On Norway's National Day (17th may), I pissed through a reverse mounted Fleshlight to feel like a woman, got obsessed, drank beer just to pee more, went out drunk for the first time in ages, told half the bar, laughed like crazy and now I am hungover and ashamed (and a little proud).